Who is Chairman Meow?
Chairman Meow is the leader of the Kitty Revolution. Although he promotes equality, he reminds us that “some animals are more equal than others,” and that most humans deserve to be laborers in his catnip fields.
Chairman Meow’s birthdate and early years are shrouded in mystery, but we do know a number of facts of science from the Feline Ministry of Information:
- Chairman Meow’s mother is Black Panther leader, Angela Davis
- His father is Ceiling Cat
- He was born on the most sacred of mountains, Mt. Kitanglad
- Chairman Meow speaks in haiku
- At the moment of his birth a new star appeared, illuminating the sky in both hemispheres
- Chairman meow invented the, “double bread with meat,” which later became known as the “sandwich”
- Chairman Meow is a better golfer than Kim Jong Il
- Chairman Meow detests Capitalism, and sells t-shirts for $20 each (plus shipping) in protest
What Is The Kitty Revolution?
Humans are greedy and self-destructive, and their global economy is an unsustainable house of cards. In fact, their own Doomsday Clock is now set to 3 minutes to midnight as they keep producing more nuclear weapons and debt.
While humans hurtle towards their own self-destruction, the kitty just watches and waits.
Any day now, Great Leader Chairman Meow will raise his furry paw and give the signal to finally topple mankind, and assume control of the planet.
What Will Happen After the Kitty Revolution?
“Imagine there’s no countries,
It isn’t hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for,
and tasty salmon, too.” – Chairman Meow
The Kitty Revolution will usher in a new age of peace and cat world domination under the leadership of Chairman Meow. This golden future time will offer riches more than the mind can picture for cats everywhere, as well as their human servants.
Some of the modest promises of Chairman Meow include:
- ridding the world of all vermin
- putting a kitty on Mars
- A bounty of (slow-moving) salmon in every stream.
Who Will Chairman Meow Spare?
Chairman Meow is more equal than other animals, but realizes that some humans will still be needed after The Revolution. Even though the feline mind is far superior, it will take many generations before cats evolve to grow thumbs.
Because of this, Chairman Meow will need human workers. Patriots of the Kitty Revolution will be given the more desirable jobs, such as harvesting catnip and catching salmon.
Those who oppose or resist the kitty will spend the rest of their short lives expressing kitty anal glands and toiling in Chairman Meow’s salt mines.
How Can a Human Join the Kitty Revolution?
Capitalist pigs can alo support the glorious Kitty Revolution and show their allegiance to Chairman Meow with propaganda t-shirts and posters available below: (click to view larger)
T-Shirts & Posters: (click a design)
*Although Chairman Meow disapproves of Capitalism, he finds it a necessary evil in order to obtain catnip and fishy treats, and to maintain his opulent 3-story catio. Please click above and buy something with your soon to be worthless human currency.
You may contact a servant of Chairman Meow at obeythekitty (at) gmail.com