Tag Archives: memes

ceiling cat watching you blessed

Who Is Ceiling Cat? A Brief History of the Divine Kitty

“Dear Glorious Leader Chairman Meow: who is Ceiling Cat?” – Timmy, Austin TX

Thank you for your sincere, but slightly naive question, Timmy. Unlike your false digital idol, Siri, Chairman Meow has true knowledge of all things. Now, I will fumigate my wisdom of Ceiling Cat upon you.

Who Is Ceiling Cat?

ceiling cat sistine chapel

Ceiling Cat is a divine kitteh who created the universe and looks down from the heavens upon us all, judging our actions.

Ceiling cat is omnipresent and sees everything, including the sinful things that you do when you are alone on your laptop at night, Timmy.

In Genesis 1:1 of the lolcat bible it is written: “Oh hai. In teh beginning Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.”

Ceiling Cat vs. Basement Cat: An Eternal Struggle

ceiling cat vs basement cat

Ceiling Cat is the force of all that is good in the universe, and the source of all purring. Throughout all of time he must battle Basement Cat, an evil, black, subterranean cat similar to what humans call, “Satan.”

basement cat tshirtNew: Basement Cat T-Shirt

  • Star Wars fans would say the Ceiling Cat is “The Force,” while Basement Cat is “The Dark Side.”
  • C.S. Lewis might consider Ceiling Cat a “wise, furry, feline Jesus figure,” much like his “Aslan” character.

Ceiling Cat: Provides Divine Inspiration & Celestial Surveillance for Chairman Meow

It is said in Sun Tzu’s Art of War that for any dictator to be successful, he must have effective surveillance, preferably from a celestial kitty looking down on the masses from the ceiling. Such is the essential role of Ceiling Cat in the Glorious Kitty Revolution. Ceiling Cat sees everything, even your thoughts.

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” – George Orwell

ceiling cat vs basement cat

Ceiling Cat T-Shirts for Capitalist Pigs

Although Capitalism is inherently self-destructive, Chairman Meow believes that we must all make money in order to provide a proper home for our kittehs. How else could we enjoy a warm bed, catnip, and delicious fishy treats?

For this reason, Chairman Meow has commissioned his Minister of Propaganda to create t-shirts to honor Ceiling Cat, so that Capitalist Pigs may attain them and find happiness in acquiring material possessions.

ceiling cat t-shirt

*Like a furry, 4-legged Robin Hood, Chairman Meow provides coupons for greedy corporations like Vistaprint (get coupons) so that their profits may be diminished, and redistributed to the kitteh-owning masses.

Ceiling Cat believe

So, Timmy, I hope you has learned many important things about Ceiling Cat today. Hopefully now you will live a more meaningful life supporting the Kitteh Revolution, and stop masturbating.

Chairman Meow has spoken.

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cat memes brussels terror

Cat Memes Aid In Brussels Lockdown; Fight Terrorism

keep calm tweet cat belgium
Belgians Fight Terror With Lolcat Photos
: Brussels, Belgium was put on lock-down under the highest level of terror alert this week. Humans were asked to stay indoors while anti-terrorism raids were carried out in Belgium, and asked not to tweet or share anything about the raids on social media.

The concern was that terrorists might be tipped off to the raids based on the use of #BrusselsLockdown hashtag which might reveal the location of Belgian police.

In response, residents of Belgium flooded the #BrusselsLockdown hashtag with photos of vigilant cats and cat memes in a unified effort to confuse terrorists.

As you know, cats have been central in the global War on Terror from the beginning;  contributing surveillance as well as executing pinpoint attacks against jihadists.

Here are a few of the recent tweets that show the united feline vigilance against terror in Brussels:

lolcats brussels lockdown

lenin cat tanks

Lenin Cat Professes Allegiance to Chairman Meow

chairman meowTensions with North Korea were strained further today, as Lenin Cat declared his allegiance to Chairman Meow, potentially shifting the balance of global power and unsettling already volatile financial markets.

Many see Lenin Cat’s declaration of support for Chairman Meow as an insult to Communist North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, whom Chairman Meow has condemned for years.

AP: Lenin Cat Declares Fondness for Chairman Meow

lenin cat communist

Kim Jong Un Fires Back

kim jong un hairIn response to Lenin Cat’s declaration, Kim Jong-Un positioned an extra 10,000 North Korean troops on the border with the South, and reportedly fired a large rocket into the South China sea; claiming that it killed “many delicious fishes, including salmon,” a favorite meal of the kitteh.

He also claimed that the country is perfecting a large, nuclear-powered space laser pointer that can reach as far as North America; potentially rendering cats there helpless against it’s attraction.

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