Dear Chairman Meow, what kind of cat is this!? – Dan, Miami Florida
Thank you for your question, Dan. Apparently there has been some confusion as to what is a kitty, and what is not a kitty. This may be due to recent proliferation of fake news on the inter-webs.
Or, perhaps this “kitty confusion” can be blamed on recent Fox News special entitled, “Possums: Are They Just Liberal Cats?”
In any event, please allow Great Teacher Chairman Meow to educate you.
Hmmm… Is this a cat?
First, here is the potential “cat” in question:
First, let us find clues as to if this mysterious creature is truly a cat.
- If perceived “kitty” haz long, pointed nose, the animal may not be a kitty
- If the animal was found hanging upside-down from a tree by its tail, it is probably not a kitty
Ah hah, it appears that this animal is NOT a kitty! In which case, Dan, please step back from the non-kitty to avoid potential harm.
In fact, instead of giving you love and affection, this non-kitty may give you many puncture wounds and rabies.
Helpful Diagram of a Standard Cat
Still confused? Here is diagram of what common kitty looks like, that has been approved by Chairman Meow’s Ministry of Truth:
Yes, Mao Means, “Cat!”
Oh how Chairman Meow loves irony!
You have come here seeking knowledge, and Great Teacher Meow has filled your brain with TWO shiny pearls of wisdom:
- You can now identify a cat
- You have learned that “Mao” means “cat” in Chinese
In any event, Dan, that you for your question for Glorious Leader Chairman Meow. I hope that you have lived through your perilous brush with the non-kitty, and go on to live a long, prosperous life filled with loving-affection from actual kitties.
Chairman Meow haz spoken.