Tag Archives: ask chairman meow

nfl gronkowski kitty

16 Great Cat Name Ideas Inspired by NFL Players

Dear Chairman Meow, What should I name our new kitty? – Robert G, Boston, Ma
chairman meow
Ah, yes, Robert. (Can I call you, “Bob?” It is such a noble name)

Anyway, Bob, you’ve brought home a furry bundle of joy to rule your home, but what do you name your new militant little friend?

Like NFL players, cats are agile, dynamic, and independent. They can also be unpredictable, mischievous, and capable of bold action; therefore, they deserve a bold name.

Here are some suggestions for cat names from current NFL team rosters:

The best potential cat names in the NFL

maurkice pouncey cat name

There are many great names in the NFL that are worthy of giving to a cat, here a the favorites of Chairman Meow:

  • nf cat name frostee ruckerMaurkice Pouncey – C, Pittsburgh Steelers
    Chairman Meow believes this is the best cat name in the NFL. Enough said.
  • Frostee Rucker – DT, Arizona Cardinals
    Perfect for a white cat, or one with with a white face.
  • Captain Munnerlyn – KR, Minnesota Vikings
    A name that shows authority. Great for a born feline leader.
  • Bacarri Rambo, SS, Buffalo Bills
    Strong name for a cat skilled in survival, hunting, and guerrilla warfare.
  • Zoltan Mesko – P, Cincinatti Bengals
    If you lived through the 1980’s, you may remember Zoltan from the movie Big? Since cats appreciate irony, perhaps this would be good name for a very small kitty?
  • Richie Incognito, C, Dolphins
    Perfect name for black cat, or cat that enjoys hiding or sneaking around a lot.

More current NFL player / cat name ideas

  • Atari Bigby – DB, Seahawks
  • Beanie Wells – RB, Arizona Cardinals
  • Barkevious Mingo(once again; ironic) OLB, Cleveland Browns
  • Cadillac Williams – RB, Free Agent
  • Ziggy Hood – DT, Steelers
  • Nico Johnson – LB, Buffalo Bills

Of course, these are just current NFL names approved by Great Leader Chairman Meow. There are some great historical NFL names as well, such as Jumbo Elliot, Dexter Manley, Bronko Nagurski, and Deacon Jones.

Plus, every year the NFL welcomes talented young players with great cat-name potential, so don’t insult the dynamic kitty with a boring, common name like, “Bella, Max, or Kitty.” 

Chairman Meow haz spoken.

Please share!

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the isolator invention

“The Isolator” – A Really Dumb Invention By Hugo Gernsback

chairman meow“Dear Chairman Meow: I have a great idea for an invention. What should I do?” – Kenny D, Moorestown, NJ

Well, Kenny, don’t do anything just yet. You see, many people have “inspired” ideas and dreams, but some of them are just stupid, and better off kept to yourself.

Take for example, Hugo Gernsback and his foolish invention, “The Isolator” helmet.

“The Isolator” Invention By Hugo Gernsback

Working from home has a lot of challenges. The phone rings, the kids barge into your office… What’s a self-employed person to do?

Well, apparently Hugo Gernsback had the same issue in 1925, and instead of complaining about it, he went out and (sort of) changed the world by inventing something really dumb: The Isolator helmet.

the isolator anti distraction helmet

science invention magazine

science magazine

Hugo himself was not just a crazy guy off the streets; he was actually editor of Science & Invention Magazine, which I assume was a legitimate publication. (hey, it has the word, “science” in it!) He also is considered by many to be one of “The Fathers of Science Fiction.”

OK, maybe it didn’t gain the popularity that Scotch Tape did (invented the same year) but I bet it helped at least a few people concentrate out there.

I’m thinking maybe this invention could help fix the ADHD epidemic in this… look, a butterfly! Sorry, I got distracted, let me put my helmet back on:

the isolator distraction helmet

Anyway, let’s just hope that helmet material isn’t asbestos, and that no smart-aleck kids out there got the idea to switch Mr. Gernsbeck’s oxygen tank with helium. (or nitrous?) 

Well, in conclusion, Hugo never succeeded with his invention, or even copyrighted the name “The Isolator.” (which I imagine is now being tarnished by a “sexual well-being” gadget of the same name sold at Walgreens?)

Chairman Meow Says: In conclusion, let Hugo’s failure be a lesson to us all: “we all have dreams, but some people’s dreams are stupid.”


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