Tag Archives: chairman meow

chairman meow north korea girl band2

Chairman Meow Challenges Kim Jong Un’s “Army-Girl Band”

kim jong un hair“…I’m in command, hot damn, I got an all-girl band!” – Salt n’ Peppa

In a move seems to directly challenge Chairman Meow and other world leaders, Kim Jong Un has assembled a state-sponsored North Korean army girl band.

In this newly released video, you can watch them playing toe-tapping propaganda favorites like “Let’s Support Our Supreme Commander With Arms:” (below)

Kim Jong Un’s All-Girl Band

Chairman Meow Responds With Challenge

Dear “Supreme Leader,” you are not the first dictator to assemble a band.

In fact, Chairman Meow has won many prestigious awards for producing the pleasing Holiday sounds of his own band; the “Rockcats” aka the original “Pussy Riot:”

Kim Jong Un’s “Moranbong Girl Band” vs. “Original Pussy Riot”

So, Mr. Un, let us have a “battle of the bands,” as the Americans say. Then, we shall let the people decide whose band is truly supreme.

Perhaps we should set the stakes high?

As the devil once said, “I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul ’cause I think (my cat band) is better than you…”

north korean girl band

The stakes?

Chairman Meow proposes:

  • To the winner: A belly-rub and jumbo-size package of fishy-treats
  • To the loser: A trip to the veterinarian, complete with haircut, bath, and anal-gland expression

You see, Mr. Kim Jong Un, I also like to live dangerously.

Chairman Meow haz spoken…


Related:

North Korean Moranbong band Performance (video)

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ceiling cat watching you blessed

Who Is Ceiling Cat? A Brief History of the Divine Kitty

“Dear Glorious Leader Chairman Meow: who is Ceiling Cat?” – Timmy, Austin TX

Thank you for your sincere, but slightly naive question, Timmy. Unlike your false digital idol, Siri, Chairman Meow has true knowledge of all things. Now, I will fumigate my wisdom of Ceiling Cat upon you.

Who Is Ceiling Cat?

ceiling cat sistine chapel

Ceiling Cat is a divine kitteh who created the universe and looks down from the heavens upon us all, judging our actions.

Ceiling cat is omnipresent and sees everything, including the sinful things that you do when you are alone on your laptop at night, Timmy.

In Genesis 1:1 of the lolcat bible it is written: “Oh hai. In teh beginning Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.”

Ceiling Cat vs. Basement Cat: An Eternal Struggle

ceiling cat vs basement cat

Ceiling Cat is the force of all that is good in the universe, and the source of all purring. Throughout all of time he must battle Basement Cat, an evil, black, subterranean cat similar to what humans call, “Satan.”

basement cat tshirtNew: Basement Cat T-Shirt

  • Star Wars fans would say the Ceiling Cat is “The Force,” while Basement Cat is “The Dark Side.”
  • C.S. Lewis might consider Ceiling Cat a “wise, furry, feline Jesus figure,” much like his “Aslan” character.

Ceiling Cat: Provides Divine Inspiration & Celestial Surveillance for Chairman Meow

It is said in Sun Tzu’s Art of War that for any dictator to be successful, he must have effective surveillance, preferably from a celestial kitty looking down on the masses from the ceiling. Such is the essential role of Ceiling Cat in the Glorious Kitty Revolution. Ceiling Cat sees everything, even your thoughts.

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” – George Orwell

ceiling cat vs basement cat

Lolcat with Basement Cat

Ceiling Cat T-Shirts for Capitalist Pigs

Although Capitalism is inherently self-destructive, Chairman Meow believes that we must all make money in order to provide a proper home for our kittehs. How else could we enjoy a warm bed, catnip, and delicious fishy treats?

For this reason, Chairman Meow has commissioned his Minister of Propaganda to create t-shirts to honor Ceiling Cat, so that Capitalist Pigs may attain them and find happiness in acquiring material possessions.

ceiling cat t-shirt

*Like a furry, 4-legged Robin Hood, Chairman Meow provides coupons for greedy corporations like Vistaprint (get coupons) so that their profits may be diminished, and redistributed to the kitteh-owning masses.

Ceiling Cat believe

So, Timmy, I hope you has learned many important things about Ceiling Cat today. Hopefully now you will live a more meaningful life supporting the Kitteh Revolution, and stop masturbating.

Chairman Meow has spoken.

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Chairman Meow: Some Animals Are More Equal

Chairman Meow: Some Animals Are More Equal

chairman meow some animals more equal than others

 

  • Available on light & dark at T-Shirtsnew at our threadless.com shop
  • Limited edition, signed, screen-printed poster coming soon!

 


Chairman Meow: Some Animals are More Equal

Chairman Meow believes that all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. In fact, the Kitty is so equal, that it is at the top of the food chain; eating and killing many types of vermin and tasty fish.

Chairman Meow also recognizes that he is equal to humans. That is why he will employ many of them as servants after the Kitty Revolution; regardless of race or religion.

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chairman meow cosmos

BELIEVE: To the Cosmos! – Long Live the Kitty

To the Cosmos!

poster believe long live kitty cosmos

To the Cosmos!

  • Available on light & dark at T-Shirtsnew at our threadless.com shop!
  • Limited edition, signed, screen-printed poster coming soon

To the Cosmos! Chairman Meow Will Explore Space

long live kitty mission control

chairman meow facebookAlready a hero for his bravery, the intrepid Great Helmsman Meow promises to bring glory to the Kitty Revolution by putting a cat into space.

In this inspiring design, he encourages his cheering followers to believe that all things are possible, as he declares, “to the cosmos!

However, since the moon is made of cheese, Chairman Meow warns humans that it may be a haven for rodents, and unsafe until these vermin are eradicated by the kitty.

Chairman Meow confidently looks towards the heavens, and using his superior feline mind, he creates magnificent constellations, connecting dots that were previously thought to be unrelated.

Supreme Commander Meow informs the captivated masses that each of these constellations may contain more catnip and tasty fish than the mind can picture.

Honor the Kitty Revolution, and support Leader Meow’s great leap forward to space by purchasing a t-shirt from Long Live the Kitty on Threadless.com!

 

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chairman meow army shirts

Chairman Meow Army T-Shirts $18: Support the Kitty Revolution!

chairman meowChairman Meow is the self-proclaimed leader of the Kitty Revolution. He promotes a radical, yet peaceful ideology and envisions a future of cat world domination.

The Ministry of Feline Propaganda has recently created a t-shirt design honoring Great Leader Chairman Meow; and the result is simply glorious:

chairman meow t-shirts army

There are only a limited number of these professionally screen-printed American Apparel t-shirts available! (only 25 in each size: S, M, L XL)

About these glorious Chairman Meow T-Shirts:

  • American Apparel “fine jersey” t-shirts: made & printed in USA
  • “2001” style is unisex for men or women
  • 2-sided screen printed design (small star design on back, between shoulders)
  • 4.3 oz. 100% combed ring-spun cotton “army” color
  • May save you from working in the salt mines when cats take over the world
  • Small, Medium, Large, (No more X-Large): $18 each

Order a Chairman Meow T-Shirt:


Sizes:
Add additional t-shirts here:



*Additional t-shirts, please add $17 each. International shipping, add $5.


American Apparel T-Shirt Sizing Chart:

american apparel 2001 tshirt sizing chart

American Apparel Jersey t-shirt reviews on Amazon

*Please review t-shirt sizing carefully before purchase. Because Chairman Meow shuns Capitalism, he has little money, and can not afford to pay for returns due to sizing or individual fit of t-shirts.

chairman meow tshirt in bag

More About the Kitty Revolution & Chairman Meow.

Chairman Meow is the leader of the glorious Kitty Revolution, which will culminate in Kitty world domination… more about Chairman Meow

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lenin cat tanks

Lenin Cat Professes Allegiance to Chairman Meow

chairman meowTensions with North Korea were strained further today, as Lenin Cat declared his allegiance to Chairman Meow, potentially shifting the balance of global power and unsettling already volatile financial markets.

Many see Lenin Cat’s declaration of support for Chairman Meow as an insult to Communist North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, whom Chairman Meow has condemned for years.

AP: Lenin Cat Declares Fondness for Chairman Meow

lenin cat communist

Kim Jong Un Fires Back

kim jong un hairIn response to Lenin Cat’s declaration, Kim Jong-Un positioned an extra 10,000 North Korean troops on the border with the South, and reportedly fired a large rocket into the South China sea; claiming that it killed “many delicious fishes, including salmon,” a favorite meal of the kitteh.

He also claimed that the country is perfecting a large, nuclear-powered space laser pointer that can reach as far as North America; potentially rendering cats there helpless against it’s attraction.

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mars kitty

Chairman Meow to Send a Cat to Mars: Commissions T-Shirt Design

chairman meow facebook
Upon hearing that there is water on Mars, Great Leader Chairman Meow has quickly promised to send a cat there to search for fishes, issuing the following statement:

“Since the Soviets sent a dog to space, we have been waiting for a good reason to respond by launching a kitteh into orbit. We haz waited many years, because space is generally cold and boring, and the food is bad. However, upon hearing that there is water on Mars, Chairman Meow believes that there may also be tasty fishes, and we must go eat them.”

When asked how such an expedition would be funded, a Chairman Meow announced that he had commissioned a t-shirt design to fund the trip.

“Chairman Meow does not know a lot about Capitalism, but I know that selling t-shirts to Capitalist Pigs should finance the cost of getting a kitty to Mars. While there, the kitty can search for new, exotic tasty kinds of fishes and bring them back so that Chairman Meow and other kittehs may eat them.”

space cat t-shirt

The t-shirt design, titled, “Believe,” has been posted on threadless.com where it may be printed if there is enough support.

“Chairman Meow encourages you to buy one of these t-shirts to show ur Kitteh Patriotism.”

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jim jong il golf

Chairman Meow Challenges Kim Jong Il to Golf Match

chairman meowChairman Meow scours the globe for “the best”: Glorious Leader Chairman Meow is always looking for phenomenal athletes, fighters, and brilliant minds to test his superior skills against.

According to reports from the official North Korean goverment media, Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer to ever play in the history of the sport.

Chairman Meow wants in on that action.

Kim Jong Il Shoots a 38 Under Par

Official reports out of North Korea’s capital, Pyong Yang, have claimed that Kim “enjoys golf” and shot an amazing 38 under par the first time he tried at the capital’s (only) golf course in 1994.

This means that according to his score keeper, Kim Jong Il finished the 18 holes in a mere 34 strokes. This is even more amazing, considering that Tiger Woods best score was a 66 in his 19 under par at Augusta; a feat considered by many to be “the best game ever.”

The North Korean government media added that Kim shot “multiple hole in ones” as well as acing another 5 holes. According to North Korean government sources, this super-human feat has become routine for the “Dear Leader” Kim Jong Il, as the media notes that he “routinely shoots three to four holes-in-one per round.”

kim jong il golf water hazzard

Kim Jong Il fearlessly surveys water hazard

3 Hole In One’s (In One Day) is Pretty Darn Good though

Once again, we must consider what an incredible achievement this is; Golf Digest estimates the odds of an amateur getting a single hole-in-one to be over 12,000 to 1.

The odds of two holes-in one in a single round, about 67 million to one. Chairman Meow would tell you what the odds of shooting three holes in one are, but your head would explode.

Chairman Meow officially Challenges Kim Jong Il to Golf Match

Chairman Meow Says: “I haz been waiting for a worthy adversary to test my golf superior game against. Although Chairman Meow haz never played a full 18 holes of golf, I am quite confident that I could beat score of “Dear Leader” of North Korea.

Principles of golf same as principles of batting around ball of string, so transition for Chairman Meow will be very simple. Plus, I have recently begun strength training with same routine that help Pat Robertson leg press 2000 pounds.”

chairman meow lag

But, isn’t Kim Jong Il Dead?

Chairman Meow responds to this detail by reminding Mr. Il that death never stops the great ones.

Did Jesus just give up & retire after he was crucified, or did he stage the biggest comeback ever? (aka “The Resurrection®” ) Chairman Meow himself has nine lives, and does not let a trifle such as death get in the way of a round of golf.

Chairman Meow is available for match any day in next month, except for Wednesday evenings, when Chairman Meow enjoys observing “Honey Boo Boo” on human television channel, TLC.

Chairman Meow haz spoken.

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